Thursday, July 1, 2010

100 Reasons To Be Glad You're A Man




1. You never get drunk as fast, as the girl you are chatting up !

2.You can tell dirty jokes !

3. You get dirty jokes !

4. You can go topless in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, without getting stoned !

5. You go to bed with any number of women !

6. You can play the video, whenever you wish !

7. You are taller. Most of the time !

8. Cricket, foot-ball, Golf, Tennis, Poker are important to live !

9. Fat is a feminist issue !

10. Bars and restaurants don't go quiet, when you walk in - alone !

11. You can scratch your privates in public !

12. You don't have to breast feed !

13. Peeing in public, is perfectly acceptable !

14. You don't have to remember where you have left things !

15. Your records are in alphabetical order !

16. You know exactly what curtains you want for your new house. They are the ones they have got in the nearest curtain shop !

17. Ever heard the term " Unfit Father " ?

18. Your Mum will always love you. In spite of everything !

19. Every news agent is full of available partners - provided you can reach the top shelf !

20. You can carry an over the shoulder courier bag on your back, without re-arranging your breasts !

21. It really doesn't matter, if you can't stand up after midnight !

22. You are far more likely to receive, than give oral sex !

23. You have only a limited range of acceptable hairstyles, to choose from !

24. And as you get older, you get less hair to worry about !

25. You don't get patronised by policemen !

26. If you wear a suit and tie, nobody will suspect you are a lesbian !

27. You feel perfectly comfortable wearing clothes you wore yesterday and left on the floor all night !

28. Even your best underwear, is relatively uncomplicated !

29. As long as your Mum's still alive, you get your washing done at her place !

30. Being treated like a sex object, isn't such a bad thing !

31. Men rule the world !

32. And women, live in it !

33. You can whistle loudly in the street !

34. You have absolutely no compunction about hiring a cleaning lady !

35. You never have to wax your legs !

36. You can eat a banana in public !

37. You can pee standing up and wherever you want !

38. Sex can be as quick, as you like !

39. You don't have to wear make up !

40. Your nails are always dry !

41. You don't have to mentally grow up !

42. You can become a Catholic priest and have unlimited free wine !

43. A moustache, looks good on you !

44. A beard, looks good on you !

45. You get to wear comfortable shoes !

46. You don't collapse in floods of tears, if your partner says you look fine !

47. You can have a baby, without changing your wardrobe !

48. Tights are totally out of the question !

49. You can buy bananas and cucumbers, without getting embarrassed !

50. You don't get angry, if your spouse forgets Valentine's Day !

51. You never have to admit to, not knowing something !

52. You can avoid bathing, shaving and ironing and merely be called eccentric !

53. You don't have to sleep with the Boss. Unless you want to !

54. You can climb trees, without exposing your undergarments !

55. You can throw up in public !

56. Facial wrinkles are called character lines !

57. When you are past 80, your breasts don't interfere with your belt !

58. You can totally avoid salads and it doesn't seem to harm you !

59. You can take the dog for a walk and have a good break !

60. Press ups are easier !

61. You can discuss your flatulence with a certain pride !

62. You can become a professional footballer !

63. You can become a soldier and shoot foreigners !

64. You get to eat enormous quantities of strange cheese !

65. Bad hair day ? So what ???

66. You just sort of know about country flags !

67. You can open new bottles of tomato ketchup !

68. Everyone loves a man in uniform !

69.You remain optimistic about sport and sex !

70. A 1972 Mercedes isn't just a car, for you !

71. You have no trouble whatsoever, putting stuff off until tomorrow !

72. You don't cry. Unless your team gets promoted, or wins something !

73. You don't feel the need to read instruction manuals on equipment !

74. A phone call only lasts a minute. Unless it's a particularly long and intricate Indian takeaway order !

75. You're allowed to put things in your pockets !

76. You don't have to throw things away, just because they're not new anymore !

77. You're allowed to - in fact you're expected to - swear heavily !

78. You can sit about smoking in Arab countries !

79. Chocolate will never rule your life !

80. You are expected to accidentally break things !

81. If nobody fancies you, it's their problem !

82. You do not find the need to get married !

83. Your spouse will also earn a part of the money, to run your household !

84. Your spouse will normally do whatever you wish, for you !

85. You can drink beer and watch TV in the house, while the household shopping is being done !

86. You can drink beer and watch TV in the house, while the food is getting prepared !

87. You can drink beer and watch TV in the house, while the children are being washed, fed and taken care of !

88. You can call your friends over for a party, without having to worry about food preparation !

89. You can call your friends over for a party, without having to properly get dressed up !

90. You can call your friends over for a party, even when your spouse is not in the mood, or tired !

91. You can crack sarcastic jokes on your spouse, without considering her feelings !

92. You can call your spouse over - for sex, during anytime of the day - irrespective of her mood !

93. You can call your spouse over - for sex, during anytime of the day - irrespective of her need !

94. You need not wear a negilgee to excite your spouse !

95. You can expect your spouse to do a strip show, for you !

96. You can have sex without any petting and fondling first !

97. You can expect your spouse to perform oral sex, without doing the same for her !

98. You can expect your spouse to ask your spouse to agree to all your perversions !

99. You can have an orgasm, every single time that you have sex !

100. You can go to sleep, the next minute - after an orgasm !







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